Have you ever noticed that there is a lot left unsaid throughout a fertility journey? There is a lot about fertility and conception that can often feel uncomfortable to speak openly about, but none more so than our deepest fears.
Wanting a baby is one of our heart's greatest ever desires - there is no doubt about that. But with great desire comes great fear.
Fear tends to like hiding in dark places, and until we shine a light on it, the shadows amplify our fear, making it bigger, scarier, and in the majority of cases, completely unnecessary.
So what fears should we shine the light on first?... The fears we hold around fertility and our relationships is at the top of that list.
I often hear clients and women in the fertility community say "I don't know what will happen to my relationship if we can't have a baby". Or "I wouldn't blame my partner if they wanted to leave if we can't have children".
Obviously there is a lot of emotion and anxiety attached to those statements, understandably. However what we often forget in the moment, is that beliefs or thoughts like those are based purely on assumption, and they are actively holding us at a distance from our biggest supporters and cheerleaders - our partners on this path.
Are you willing to take a brave step in order to set yourself free of these fears? Here is my suggestion:
Sit down with your partner and shine the light on your fears. Share and speak openly about your thought process, your concerns, what you are worried about happening or not happening. Having an open and honest conversation on this level will resolve these fears completely - I promise! And chances are, your partner might have a similar set of fears they'd like to talk through and resolve as well.
Why do I suggest this? Because what we focus on, GROWS. The more time and energy we spend thinking and worrying about what we fear, the more we will be consumed by that fear. Overcoming fear in fertility will set you free.
Ok so now for the pep-talk part: You are so much stronger and resilient than your fears have lead you to believe. You've got this. This dream is in your heart because it is meant for you. Resolve your fears, and free up that energy in pursuit of your beautiful baby who is out there waiting for you.